Mr. Clean: The REAL Story

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The mammoth cried, " You win, this time..   Until we meet again!"  The effects of the soap started to kick in, and the drenched whale began to cough and hack.  She climbed to her feet and threw one of the cans to the ground.  A cloud of Pine-Sol filled the air, and I couldn't breath.  Gasping for breath, I stumbled to a window and jumped out.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Oops.</div> <bR> <div>      I fell to the ground and landed in a trash can.  Filthy.  I was Mr. Clean!  I didn't <I>do </I>garbage!  A woman appeared at the window.</div> <div>      "Mr. Clean!  You've destroyed my kitchen, and look at you!  You're disgusting!  You get cleaned up right now and I expect you to be here in fifteen minutes to fix my kitchen!"  I cowered, still in the trash can.  Hadn't she noticed that I had just fought off the evil Pine-Sol lady?  This volunteer super hero business just wasn't for me.  I went home to clean up.</div> <div>      "Ugh...  Messy, messy, messy."  I cleaned my hands with a hose before opening my front door.  Feeling completely out of place in my perfectly neat home, I took a quick shower. Washing the stench and any hint of dirt away, I pondered what would come of me.  Then, it happened.  As I stepped out of the shower, I slipped on the squeaky clean floor and hit my head on the shower.  I blanked out.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Ow.</div> <bR> <div>      When I awoke, I felt different, somehow.  I couldn't quite place it, so I ignored it and went on with my day.  I checked my pupils in the mirror. Everything checked out all right.  No damage was done, as far as I could tell.</div> <div>      I got dressed, and put myself to work, organizing my sock drawer by company name and weight, when I felt something.  Ever so slowly, I became aware of a presence.  It was as though someone was breathing down my neck, very lightly.  It made the hairs on my arms stand up and my head sweat a little.  I stood up, and looked around..  No one there but me.  I continued to work, and the presence continued to grow.  Eventually, it became so strong that I started pulling at my head, wishing there was hair there so I could pull it out.  I frantically ran throughout the house (avoiding running into anything, of course) and as I ran through the living room, I glanced out the window to find the lady from before walking up my driveway!  She looked mad; I had forgotten to clean her kitchen!  It hit me.  She was what I felt!!    What was going on here?</div> <div>      I opened the door and she caught her fist before knocking on my head.</div> <div>      "Well?"  She revealed a mop from behind her back..  Somehow, I knew it was there.  I nodded and got into my car and offered the woman a ride back to her house.  She accepted, but that wasn't a surprise to me.  When I got to her house, I found the Pine-Sol gargantuan already at work, cleaning some broken glass.  I pointed and laughed, and she merely scowled at me and continued her work.  I wouldn't bother her for now, not when she was in that much pain.</div> <div>       The old woman (I now knew her name was Kelly,) shoved a the mop into my face.  My hands were waiting to catch it, as I knew she would do that.</div> <div>      I worked silently, sneering as I  mopped up the blood.  Why did I have to do this, anyway?  Because I messed up her kitchen?  Hardly a reason.  I could hear the Pine-Sol woman's complaints to herself as she scrubbed and broomed.  Then things got quiet, and I could feel dark intentions behind me.  I whirled around and kicked into the air, my foot landing on the fat leviathan of human evil.  She let out an "oomph!" as she hit the wall.  Not this again!  I had just got done cleaning the floor from last time!  I drew back, ready for battle.  The Pine-Sol monstrosity lunged at me with an angry cry.  I couldn't out power her, but I <I>did </I>know what she didn't expect!  She reached out to grab me and instead of dodging, I let her.  She seemed confused that I hadn't put up a fight, and she hesitated to slam me down.  Using only the hands pinned behind my back, I flipped my mop and whacked her on the head.</div> <div>      Then the unexpected happened.  Dizzy, but still keeping a grip on me, she fell foreword.  I heard an agonizing CRAA-AACK as my knees bent backward.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Painful.</div> <bR> <div>     I let out a cry of pain and the giant rolled off of me with a grin.  She produced a can of Pine-Sol from her belt, and pointed it at me.  I gasped, clutching both of my crippled legs, as an evil grin spread across her lips.  I had only one hope.</div> <div>      "Quick!  To the kitchen!"  I concentrated hard.  Hoping for the best, I attempted to contact Kelly, the old woman.  Success!  I felt her presence as she entered the room and screamed.  The Pine-Sol woman looked up, giving me enough time to summon the strength to roll over.  I reached for my mop, and uttered a cry of despair for it was out of my reach.  "Ungh.."  I inched across the floor using my arms.  Then the walrus happened to notice I was getting away, and she stepped on my foot, causing me to lose all concentration.</div> <div>      "Hah!  Did you really think you could defeat me, Mr. Clean?  I am Pine-Sol!  I SMELL PINE CONE FRESH!" she ground her foot into my leg.  I cringed in pain.  It was over.  At any second she would pull out her deadly Pine-Sol and finish me off.  I had no hope.</div> <div>      Suddenly, I heard an "Oomph!" and she fell off of me!  I looked up to see Kelly with boxing gloves on.</div> <div>      "Let's go, punk."  Kelly bounced around and kicked the Pine-Sol lady a few times before pummeling her face with her gloves.  "Get out of my house!"</div> <div>      Susan the Pine-Sol woman hissed an angry "You haven't seen the last of me" and she slithered out the door.  Kelly called for an ambulance, and they rushed me to a hospital.</div> <div>      The doctors examined both of my legs, astounded that I had stayed conscience throughout the whole experience.  They said that the crushing would never heal, and there were deep wounds what would have to be fixed.  They needed to amputate, much to my distress.  Soon, however, the operation was finished, and I requested for two wooden legs, despite that they were far too weak to carry me.  I was given a wheelchair by the gracious Kelly, who later apologized for snapping at me.  About then I had a realization.  My new powers of the mind were given to me for a purpose.  I decided that I needed a new identity, and these powers were the perfect key!  I ripped out my ear ring and grinned...  Then clutched my ear lobe and went back into the hospital for a Band-Aid.</div> <div>      I made up a story about having these powers since I was young, and decided that a man named Luficer had crushed my legs.  Now, who would be desperate enough to pay me for my assistance?  Of  course!  The rapidly rising number of mutations among us was the opportunity I needed!  Soon I found some pathetic boy who would shoot cheap laser effects when he opened his eyes.  I pretended to care, as if it were a real problem, and helped him out.  He decided that it was his job to protect people from 'dangerous' mutants and he went out and found some more freaks who needed help.  Soon, the state and federal governments were being hounded by the parents of these wonder kids to fund my project!  Soon, I could build a whole academy and even hire some scientists to get me a mechanical wheelchair, so I wouldn't have to waste energy on my arms!  Life was sweet, because I became known as...</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" "><U>(Click to continue!)</U></A></div> </td> </tr></table></body>